As human beings, we are hard-wired for connections. Whether we are introverted or extroverted, stay-at-home readers or party-goers, we need people. Our society also tells us that we will be happier when we are in a relationship – witness all the romances on TV and in the movies – but everyone is single at some point. Does that mean we have to be miserable? The answer is different for everyone because it ultimately comes down to a choice: we can either see our singleness as a curse or as a blessing. When we choose the latter, that’s when the real adventure can begin.

Get to know yourself

Break out a journal and start writing down everything you know about yourself: your likes, your dislikes, your goals, and your dreams. Go as far back into your memory as you can. When you were younger, what did you want to do with your life but never got around to? How can you make that happen now? 

Take the time to define your values. One reason this is so important is that it can be tempting to throw them aside when a new person enters your life. Nailing down what is most important to you can help you to have healthier relationships in the future. 

Develop your opinions

What do you think about the environment? Global warming? Healthcare? Education? Politics? Is there anything that you believe strongly in? Try to outline what you believe so that when you are with someone else again, you will know what you believe and why. While you should always take other people’s opinions into consideration, knowing your own is vital to having strong, appropriate boundaries.

Choose your circle of friends carefully

One of the advantages of being single is that you have the time to develop the right relationships. Think about the kind of people you want to know and hang out with. Where can you find them? Perhaps at a church or other religious institution, or maybe you can find them through a Meetup. Or, maybe you need to spend more time with your family or repair a broken friendship. Decide who matters the most in your life – you will never regret investing in them.

Educate yourself

Everyone, including those who have college degrees, must continue to educate themselves. While you will never know everything, the reality is that information keeps evolving long after we graduate. Learn as much as you can by keeping up with the news and asking questions of people who know more than you do about something. Develop your mind, and you will feel more confident as a person overall. 

Read, read, and read some more

If all you ever read are ideas that you agree with, then you will never be able to think any differently or understand the world. So, fill your to-be-read pile with books on all topics and get started. What’s that, you don’t have time to read? Turn off Netflix! And remember, this isn’t your high school English class. If you really don’t like what you’re reading, no one said you absolutely must finish it. Just toss it aside and pick up something else. Your choice!

Learn how to be alone

Ah, here’s a hard one – how to be content even when you are alone. Note that we are not suggesting that you become a hermit. Instead, we are just saying that you learn how to be content even though you aren’t in a relationship. It’s about becoming comfortable with yourself and your own thoughts and not automatically reaching out to other people when you’re alone. Sometimes you just have to be.

Do what makes you happy

When you are with other people, compromise is inevitable, and that’s not a bad thing. However, when you are single, you have the time to do what you want to do. Isn’t that a gift? So, if you have been itching to take a road trip, get going! If you want to go for a massage, you can do that, too. Even better, write down your bucket list of things you must do and get started fulfilling each one. 

Last, remember this: single today, with someone tomorrow. Everything has a time and season, and the grass is not always greener over in relationship-land. So enjoy every moment you have, whether you are in a relationship or not. Once you live or breathe it, it’s gone, and you can never get it back.